I recently read a great blog post that said trust your intuition because kids don’t come with parenting manuals. I agree, there’s no instructional booklet, insurance or map that show the “best” way get from A to B (by A to B, I mean baby to 18!). That’s why, normally, I would feel a bit… [Read more…]
April 21, 2009
When parenting, it’s super easy to veer off track and hit the ditch. Yelling- grouchy, stressed-whatever. I’ve been following the Parenting on Track home course for about 3 months and I’ve come to realize there are a few now-obvious reactions I should NOT do when a kid is driving me mad. 1. DO NOT use… [Read more…]
April 10, 2009
Slip Sliding the Slippery Slope There couldn’t be a better time to test out the slippery-slope theory. It’s April, it’s the 9th month of winter in VT, and ain’t nobody riding a unicorn in the soft, sunny beach sands of life. (If you are, don’t tell me about it, ok Charlieeee?). Take my neighborhood for… [Read more…]
April 6, 2009
Spring’s here. And you know what sounds are popping up everywhere I turn? Whining, yelling, whining, yelling. We’re sick of being inside. We’re mad at each other for crowding personal space. We’re annoyed that there’s not much motivation flying around. We need some sunshine. Take a peek outside—I see little buds breaking through. It’s spring.… [Read more…]
April 1, 2009
I swear I saw a white rabbit. Where’s the choco-choco candy with the words “Eat Me” written in psychedelic script? Well, ok, the rabbit doesn’t exist but the rabbit hole? OH YES IT DOES. And what does it have to do with you? Me? Anyone for that matter? It’s that place we go when we’ve… [Read more…]
March 28, 2009
And stick it on the wall! In the Family Meeting, everyone comes together to say something nice, choose contributions and solve problems. However, it’s not a free-for all of complaints. I’m just learning how but I see it works like this: “MOMMY! He hit me…” Response: Ooh, go write that down, we’ll talk about it… [Read more…]
March 27, 2009
Ok, so I’ll admit this is all new to me– structured contributions are still a mystery. I get the first part of Family Meeting: Appreciations. But now, I need to add weekly contributions to the mix (hear the audio clip). How can I do that when my OWN chores are so sporadic that I can’t… [Read more…]
March 25, 2009
If Family Meeting were a cocktail and I had to mix it up in a shiny, silver shaker, I’d whip it up like this: 1 Part Appreciations. 1 Part Contributions. 1 Part Problem Solving. Add Splash of Allowance. As I venture further into Family Meetings, it’s easy to want to add ingredients (like raging bitters… [Read more…]
March 22, 2009
I remember the first Family Meeting we attended last year. I said something like, “Ok, we’re having family meeting. Let’s go around and say something we appreciate about each other!” crickets. shifty eyes. crooked faces. crickets. silence. I was like, whoa. hmm…ok, well, I’ll go first. I (surprisingly!) struggled to say something sincere about everyone… [Read more…]
March 20, 2009
Why? Because he wakes me up every morning shouting, “bye mom!” on his way out the door. Off he goes with his backpack, boots, jacket and everything he needs- homework and all. I never would have guessed he could do all that by 10. And so, with his AM routine in check, I say, go… [Read more…]
March 15, 2009
I have to take a moment to explain “appreciations.” Appreciations, in the Parenting on Track Course, is when everyone goes around the table mentioning something they appreciate about family members. Everyone has to work together and wait patiently- even if nothing comes to mind. If they get squirrely and the timer goes off, the meeting… [Read more…]
March 12, 2009
I’m still honing in on the Family Meeting as a GREAT tool for ALL families. Even when the bottom drops out (or the lid pops off). Let me paint a picture for you (and I am a terrible artist). It’s currently March. I may have just gone through what will be termed a “real low… [Read more…]
March 10, 2009
If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you know we’re just now re-introducing FAMILY MEETINGS back into the picture. I love them-the kids get along (even if it’s only 20 minutes), they say nice things and they’re eager to hang with the family, etc. So, we had our meeting, the boys came ready to… [Read more…]
March 8, 2009
Ok, I’ve been analyzing and chatting about all the higher-level dynamics of parenting. Well, now, it’s time to roll up the sleeves and TRY something proactive: FAMILY MEETINGS. Here’s my disclaimer. Last year, I started doing this and when summer came around, I fell off the wagon. I sort of went back and forth a… [Read more…]
March 5, 2009
Ok, that didn’t help, did it? Low self esteem is internal. Wiki says, “In psychology, self-esteem reflects a person‘s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth.” A sticker will NOT bring out self worth, no matter how many we collect. That means that we, as parents, can’t bring out “self-esteem” in kids.… [Read more…]
March 2, 2009
Let me start off by saying that over the weekend, I had a conversation with a friend. He was like, “I had no idea you were writing about parenting– it’s just so not you!” Then he said, “It’s great stuff but I can’t picture you reading a parenting book. You’re like the opposite.” And I… [Read more…]
February 28, 2009
This week, I was totally discouraged with my efforts at parenting. It just so happens that was a good thing. Bottom line: this week was chaotic, and unfortunately, I had a bit of a relapse into yelling, snapping and demanding from my kids. I felt terrible but with all the external stress from a MIL… [Read more…]
February 24, 2009
Imagine if anyone ever said that to you? Can you visualize the distress and emotional shutdown? The final goal of behavior, as discussed in the 12 Week Parenting on Track Home Course, is avoidance. Vicki makes some solid points about how the cycle of “helping” children can actually create “hurt.” Children who have parents that… [Read more…]
February 23, 2009
Revenge is a dish best served cold. old klingon proverb Nothing speaks to today’s topic, REVENGE, like yesterday’s surprising TNT line up: Kill Bill 1 & 2. Being my favorite film, I think I’ll let myself “go there” to make my point. When a child is misbehaving, REVENGE can be one of the 4 Mistaken… [Read more…]
February 20, 2009
Have you ever had a stand-off with a person that stands no taller than your knee? Have you ever felt the your face flush with anger- you know when you start to percolate, like…no way are we going here right now? Have you ever said, no you will NOT do that! only to hear watch… [Read more…]
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May 5, 2009
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