Whenever I have to stop long enough to think about committing to a certain family value- this voice pops into my head:
And when I say that I literally hear Morla the ancient turtle, I’m not kidding. It’s like stuff keeps happening and I say to myslf, Do I care? Is this something I care enough about to claim as a VALUE? And then I hear the words…we don’t care, whether or not we care…And if I don’t care…if I even care? Well, then what am I worrying about?
(Here’s me in a scenario where I regularly pull a Morla: Do I REALLY care if he’s not wearing a jacket to the car? He says he’s not cold…I don’t care whether or not I care! Let’s just get in the car and go…he’ll tell me if he is cold.)
I’ll be honest, though- sometimes I do feel I’m left dangling off a muddy branch in the swamps of sadness. But like our hero, Atreyu, on his quest, I have to keep going- because without values, THE NOTHING will come soon enough and everyone will be left in the dark. It’s those values- those single grains of sand (anyone still with me?) that glow like a beacon when things get tough.
If my kid says “shut up” but in a few minutes says, “that’s what I’m talking about” when I deliver a towel to the bathroom, clearly I have child with an off-beat vocabulary. But, knowing my own brain and the words that consequently pour out sans filter, well…I don’t know if I actually “value” complacent cordiality in the first place! If I do, I’m not living it…that’s for sure.
There, I said it. Is that bad? Yes, I know, manners are TOTALLY important but a well-timed, get-a-rise-out-of-mom “shut-up” isn’t really worth getting off-quest for. At least not in my house. It may be different for you- that’s what’s cool about this whole experience. YOU find what works for you- not everyone else.
The Southern Oracle will not help you on this journey!
And the point of this seemingly wacked mythical tangent? Parenting is a journey- a mere quest to save familial Fantasia from the NOTHING. Whenever we commit ourselves to being a family that “values kindness” or a family that “values trust” we have to be able to live it, breath it, own it and model it.
Otherwise, we may find ourselves living a family
fantasy that doesn’t quite match reality.
(You know, when you think you live at the Huxtables but you actually live at Rosanne Barr’s…right? Been there!)
And who in the world would EVER wish to live a fantasy?
NOTE TO SELF: I FINALLY googled the name Bastian yells at the end…I read he says, “Moon Child.” Is that a joke?
Moe
October 4, 2010
No, it’s not a joke. Moon Child was the name of Bastian’s mother. The original book was written by German author Michael Ende in 1963. His daughter’s nickname was Moon Child.
It’s a pretty appropriate name for a CHildlike Empress I’d say. Ass.