Ok, I’ve been analyzing and chatting about all the higher-level dynamics of parenting. Well, now, it’s time to roll up the sleeves and TRY something proactive:
FAMILY MEETINGS.
Here’s my disclaimer. Last year, I started doing this and when summer came around, I fell off the wagon. I sort of went back and forth a few times but I wasn’t consistent. So, believe me for 2 reasons: 1)I have tried this but 2) I’m re-booting so my “jump right in” attitude is authentic- I am rusty and I don’t have it perfected! No matter how crappy it’s been, committing to this WILL change the family.
SERIOUSLY, it’s early March in VT- we’ve been locked in a house for WAY too long with NOTHING to do. We’re not on cloud nine over here (if you don’t believe me, swing by for a cup of coffee). If you can’t make it, read Why Family Meetings Rock.
THIS is the ONE thing, if you start tomorrow, that will, without A DOUBT, bring positive energy into even the most disconnected, burnt out of families. But before I get into details, let me define family meetings in a nutshell:
FAMILY MEETINGS ARE BRIEF. 15-20 mins.
FAMILY MEETINGS ARE SCHEDULED. We used to do ours Sunday nights, before America’s Funniest Home Videos. That seems to be the line up for this fresh start.
FAMILY MEETINGS ARE NOT CRISIS INTERVENTIONS. They don’t happen whenever someone’s gone off and done something that needs to be “addressed.” FAMILY MEETINGS ARE NOT MANDATORY. If a child doesn’t participate, let him or her “work” their way into the action. We do not need to say anything to “convince” them. TRUST me, DSN was a no-show for about 3 weeks. Each week, he got closer and closer. Now he’s the one asking me if we can (finally!) have a family meeting.
FAMILY MEETINGS BUILD AS TIME GOES ON. There’s no hard and fast rule- if the ONLY purpose is to be a positive time together, then fine. If you’re ready to add layers to the agenda, then go for it.
FAMILY MEETINGS WILL NOT BE DERAILED. You get everyone together and a someone decides it’s time to “become a distraction?”. No problem, the participating members can simply pack up and move to another room.
And so, now that I have your head around what family meetings are, next up…what to do, what NOT to do and where it can take the family dynamic. This is the turning point because you’ll see direct correlation between effort put into the family and response from the kids. I’m excited because tomorrow, we’re back on, baby!
NOTE TO SELF: Go to the ATM for Pete’s sake! They’ll be showing up with empty wallets!
Posted on March 8, 2009
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