I’m still honing in on the Family Meeting as a GREAT tool for ALL families. Even when the bottom drops out (or the lid pops off).
Let me paint a picture for you (and I am a terrible artist).
It’s currently March. I may have just gone through what will be termed a “real low point” in my parenting career. Winter’s still hanging around, hubby went to China for 2 weeks, our au pair moved away (she’d been here a year-with no replacement), I signed a MONSTER-SIZED job contract (WAHM), and the kids were on vacation.
My 3yo who NEVER has accidents had a full-on regression-he peed his pants like every day (WT?) the middle child turned into another child entirely with astronomical whining levels- and my oldest just looked on in bewilderment at what had just happened to the family! Even he couldn’t believe what deconstruction had instantaneously occurred. PLUS, at the onset of this, MIL came for a brief visit and left the same time everyone else split (leaving me in the middle of a 10 day vacation!). Let’s say we watched a lot of TV (and I’m not proud- but Mythbusters is cool).
Everyone knows it takes a four day-post-grandparent decompression phase for the kids because they get used to all the EXTRA attention.
Not to mention all this set in motion the evening of the “fullest” moon of the year (or something like that). All in all- it was bad…nobody was having fun btw, not even the mischeif makers.
So there I was, with ZERO transition into this mess. And, with the recession, I didn’t have anything to do- cash isn’t falling from the sky, family-friendly restaurants are closing. I was working early and late (up til 3am!) and shlepping the kids around to do “boring” stuff while their friends went snowboarding and all that.
My boys went a little bit mob-mentality on me and I thought (more than once) OMG, if anyone knew I blogged about parenting they’d blow the whistle on me! I’m a fraud- my kids are NOT perfect…and I certainly SUCK at parenting. So, I blamed the lack of cash on not going out (of course, I really didn’t want to go anywhere with all three in such a state of disarray) and we kind of rode it out.
We were like 4 minty mentos trapped in a 2 liter bottle of Diet Soda. We were just bubbling to get away from the bad feelings, yelling and cabin fever of March in VT. At any given moment “idiodic freak” and “stupid” could be heard bouncing around in there. It wasn’t pretty…
BUT, I kept going. And, since I’d laid some groundwork before, the rebound happened MUCH quicker! Seriously, it took a family meeting, some sincere appreciations, more eye contact and a little direction to turn the pent-up, spring fevered, hyperactive, mid-winter madness into a decompressed, relatively mellowed family again.
NOTE TO SELF:
You can’t blow the whistle on imperfect parenting. So what- we all lapse into bad habits. If you gain five lbs, does that mean you can’t get in shape again? It’s like, of course you can- and however “in shape” you were before ultimately influence the bounceback. So, maybe this is like “Parenting in Shape”vs. “Parenting after a 3 week valentine Chocolate Binge”…that’s easier for me to grasp.
See what happens when you channel the energy into squirt bottles?
Posted on March 12, 2009
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